The Butcher Knife
14, That number again, seems like that's where my thoughts have gone. I didn't want to start the story about me at birth,or now, it seemed like Rex and the gold mine was a good place to venture out, however now being bi-polar my mind races with ideas of what to write, and yes even on my meds it still races. I could do a whole other blog of my bi-polar but I thought Gypsy Butterfly was perfect because it covers it all. You will see throughout my blogs how its affected my life, but at this point it wasn't a factor by name anyway. I think back and wonder what that diagnosis had to do with all the situations that came into play, and how I handled them. I wasn't given this Dx until I was in my twenties and it usually doesn't rear its ugly head until late teens early twenties, but I'm thinking it was around a lot longer. This story doesn't have anything to do with any of that but if I have sparked your interest in seeking out more blogs of mine then I have succeeded in bringing you back for more and more.
My Mom, sister and I lived in a house on American Beauty in Rose Park. It was just the right size for the 3 of us. Single level home nothing to fancy, but I always liked that house. Got into a lot of trouble in that house for sure. My bedroom was on the end so I had two windows one facing front and one facing the side and the one neighbor we had kept to himself. I always had an odd feeling on that side of the house and never liked being there. My vanity with my mirror was facing that window. I could see that window and look out of it while getting ready in the morning or in my room at night. I just got out of the shower and had my towel on and was doing my hair. It was pitch black outside, and then WHAT THE HECK? I Jerked my head around as the blur in the window dissappeared into oblivion. PEEPING TOM! I just had an experience with a PEEPING TOM. My heart was racing I hurried and shut my curtains, which if I forgot to mention my windows were up high. No one could see in them just walking by unless they were really tall or standing on something. I can't recall if my mom was home but when I told her she brushed it off as my imagination and seeing things. Not sure if she really did not believe me or was trying to keep me from being scared, she said- " No one can reach that high to look in anyway" but it left me unsettled. A few weeks later I needed to go on (that side) of the house and had the most amazing revelation! THE GAS METER! it was right UNDER my window and when I stood on it! YEP you guessed it I could see right into my window. I remember seeing the neighbor outside and the memory all came rushing back to me. It was HIM! I kept the doors locked from that time on. My mom talked to the police and found out he did have a record of peeping. I think he was warned or something but it never happened again to my relief! Still every time I heard a noise that spooked me I would grab the biggest butcher knife we had, I was stupid enough to go outside and all around walking with that knife thinking in someway it was shielding me from harm. (always when I was alone or in charge of younger people, but when a man was next to me, he was the noise checker outer and I was the neurotic frozen Popsicle, saying " I Heard something go look, NO SERIOUSLY GO LOOK< PLEASE GO LOOK THERE IS SOMETHING THERE!") Back in those days we walked everywhere or we rode the bus or our bikes, in my case Gina pumped me on hers while I sat on the handlebars, no wonder she is so into fitness to this day and I am so not! It was one of those bright sunny days and I was walking to the store prob for a coke or a creamy. No friends that day, just me the sidewalk, sunshine, and some guy in his later twenties coming toward me and as he got closer I noticed something I didn't want to notice and looked for a long time because I couldn't determine if my brain was playing tricks on me, or was it? He slowed down and I was definitely right, it was his manhood hanging out in all its glory. I sped up a little, no it was really really fast not a run but the fastest walk I had ever done while glancing around at homes looking for my escape (wishing I had the famed butcher knife on me) trying not to have fear written all over my face. We actually practically touched arms, I didn't want to run I was determined to keep going and look back only once, thinking if I ran he would chase me and tackle me in some bushes. The angels were walking with me that day, he was intentional, I just didn't know how far his intentions were going to go. I was glad to get to the store and was VERY aware of my surroundings on the way home and grateful he did not see me coming out of my house. Fast forward a year or so. My Cousin and his family were living in that same house renting it from my mom. He had two boys and him and his wife were out on a date. Everything was going great the boys and I were having a great time they were about 3 and 7 ish. All of a sudden I heard a big bang, and crash! I grabbed the boys and stuck them under the counter by the phone, the old yellow dial one hanging on the wall with a cord that only reached 20 paces in any direction and sometimes 21 if I was determined to get something out of my reach. I grabbed a Big butcher knife out of the drawer and squatted down under the counter with the boys after dialing 911 on the phone. The Police were there in no time, outside, inside, all around. The one officer had the other two and me come into the master bath where the shower curtain was off the wall laying on the floor. They had a little under their breath chuckle but said to call again if I didn't feel safe and to keep the doors locked, adding they were looking for a rapist in the area, THE ROSE PARK RAPIST, as I was thinking, "why in the HELL did you need to tell me this after the history I have had with this house, this area and now this night, a 15 year old blond girl(by the way he informed me he targeted blonde's) babysitting totally freaked out. I know they were just doing their job and I was totally relieved when he said they would do extra patrol around the house for tonight. To this day when I hear a noise, the first thing I do is grab a butcher knife and go toward the sound. My Daughter Gina does not believe this though. One night our friend Greg thought he would be funny and hid behind the gas pump at our small town station. Gina was with me when he jumped out at us and I RAN by myself in the TOTAL opposite direction. Leaving my then 13 ish year old all by herself to face whoever the attacker was! I didn't have that stupid butcher knife on me and in my defense to her I said I was running for help, if he got both of us then we had no chance, like on the airplane when the mask falls down what do you do first??? She wasn't having any of it, and still doesn't, and LOVES to tell people how I forced her to fend for herself. I bought a butcher knife for her for Christmas this year, but it was so pretty and sharp I kept it for myself! ( Truthfully, I thought, hmmm probably not a good thing to send in the mail it was a set of three differnt sizes and colors for any type of noise she may hear and it will match her kitchen, I will make it up to her someday, maybe)!